


i don’t know when it’s love and when it’s not

by shawnie1718



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, It has all three fluff angst and smut lets do this, Kinda, Lucas is of age don’t worry, M/M, Professor/Uni Student, Smut, eliotts the hottie of the arts department just saying, lucas is a dumm dumm, professor/student
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:40:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22357330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shawnie1718/pseuds/shawnie1718
Summary: lucas doesn’t like art until he gets to his lecture hall and finds out that the hottest professor at the university is teaching his class. neither lucas nor eliott can fight their connection.
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 11
Kudos: 251





	i don’t know when it’s love and when it’s not

**Author's Note:**

> hello it tis i back with a new work instead of finishing the one im currently on hahahahah  
> ive been sitting on this for a while actually and just got around to finishing it. i haven’t fully gone through and looked it over so hoping there aren’t many mistakes. hope you guys enjoy! kudos and comments are much appreciated

Lucas doesn’t know anything about art. Literally nothing, silch, nada. So when the university told him that he had to take an art class he thought it was a joke. He literally started laughing. But here he is, two months later, enrolled in his university’s art history course. Walking into that class every day has taken a toll on him, Lucas thinks. Every single person in the class looks like they are two seconds away from walking out the door, down the hall, out of the school, and into the nearest lake. And Lucas feels the exact same way. 

The one thing stopping him is the professor. He walks around looking like a literal greek statue. Lucas is convinced he is a god among men. Honestly he doesn’t know what the school board was thinking when they hired a professor that’s a snack and a half. No, scratch that, he’s a full course meal.

The first day came as quite a shock, when Lucas locked eyes with the teacher that has the fluffiest hair and beautiful piercing eyes that scanned Lucas head to toe. Perfect fucking lips that would be perfect to bite and suck. Don’t even get him started on those large, veiny hands that made his mouth water. The large, hooked nose only made Lucas want to lay a kiss at the tip. And of course he has a perfectly proportioned body, only to be covered in a green turtleneck (have mercy, that sweater wasn’t leaving anything to the imagination) and jeans.

“Good afternoon, I’m your Professor. You can call me as such, or Mr. Demaury, whichever you prefer. Now, I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’m sure a lot of you are in this class to just complete your art credit, so I mean there’s no reason for me to push any of you right?” There’s an audible sigh of relief throughout the classroom, but Lucas can tell there’s something hidden beneath that sly smirk on Mr. Demaury’s face, “well I’m not sorry to say that will not be happening, after all, life imitates art. Everything in our lives can be traced back to art, and if you think otherwise you are incorrect. Humans very first method of writing things down was through art and symbols.” The class groans and Lucas can’t help but smirk at the look of triumph on the teachers face, “so, without further ado let’s get into how this year is going to work.”

And Lucas is so fucked because as Mr. Demaury raises his hand to rub at his stubble he caught sight of all those fucking rings on his long fingers. Large and bulky and so, so hot. Lucas immediately wants to know how they would look wrapped around his dick, or in his ass, prying it open, pumping in and out. Or how they would feel with his fingers plunged in the back of his throat--

“Guys, we have a problem,” Lucas says as he slams down his lunchtray.

“Ugh, tell me about it! I mean I’ve been going after Daphne all summer and school year and she still won’t put out?” Basile shakes his head in disbelief.

Arthur turns and blinks at his friend, “hey, buddy, you have spaghetti, like, waterfalling out of your mouth. Grab a napkin.”

Yann laughs before biting into his sandwich and turning to look at Lucas, “what were you saying, Lu?”

Lucas breathes, “we have a problem. My art history Professor is  _ literally _ the most beautiful human on this Earth. I don’t know how I’m going to get over this one.”

Yann goes first, “well, he’s your Professor so I mean that’s a boundary that shouldn’t be passed.”

Arthur goes second, “plus he’s probably way older than us.”

Basile goes last, mouth still full of food, “don’t get over him, get under him.”

Lucas purses his lips and points a finger at Baz, “interesting. I like it.”

“Lucas, no,” Yann says and places his sandwich down, “come on, you’re just crushing on his looks. And I mean even if you get into some relationship with him, and I mean  _ if  _ if, it’s just going to end in disaster.”

Lucas groans into his napkin, “ugh, I know you’re right. But, God, Yann! You didn’t see him. He should be a model or something. I couldn’t stop staring at his perky butt and...veiny, long-fingered hands…”

“Dude, you’re drooling,” Arthur snickers.

Lucas flips him off, “maybe I should start failing his class so he has to offer me extra help.”

Lucas obviously said that as a joke; he would never intentionally fail a class. He’s too much of a try-hard for that. But, apparently, since Mr. Demaury’s tests are so goddamn hard he didn’t even need to  _ try _ to fail! It was happening all on it’s own. After their first semester his grade average in the class was a C-, only one grade marking above a D. He didn’t want a D from Mr. Demaury. Okay, well, at least not in the  _ grade book _ .

“Mister Lallemant, may I see you after class?” the teacher says as the bell rings to signal the end of the school day.

Lucas’s face feels like it was on fire as everyone around him packs up and leaves the classroom, leaving only Lucas and his hot, hot teacher. Fuck.

It’s silent for a few moments. Every little move, every little twitch of Mr. Demaury’s finger, or lick of his lips becomes engrained in Lucas’s head. Slowly his mind starts to drift off and he can’t stop himself from imagining how it would feel to be bent over the desk and groped, fucked. How it would feel to be at the mercy of his Professor, or how it would feel to roll Mr. Demaury’s name off his tongue with a moan.

“You can move, you know,” his teacher says from behind his desk, making Lucas jerk out of his twisted fantasy.

Lucas gets up too hastily, the desk squeaking against the floor with his abrupt movement. He walks over to the desk and it feels like he’s walking through quicksand with one painful step after the other. Mr. Demaury looks up from the paperwork on his desk, nearly making Lucas freeze on the spot, but he somehow manages the last couple steps.

“Lucas,” Mr. Demaury begins and damn does his voice sound good saying Lucas’s name. Lucas has to bite his tongue in order for “say it again” to not come rolling out. Mr. Demaury continues in his silky, adoring voice, “I’ve noticed that you aren’t having the...easiest time with my class. I just wanted to ask you if it’s because you aren’t trying, or if you are actually struggling with the material?”

Lucas feels like his throat is dry and scratchy when he first speaks, “I-I am trying, Mr. Demaury-”

“Call me Eliott,” he says with a smile, “it’s weird for someone who’s close in age with me to call me ‘Mister’ when class isn’t proceeding. You are the only university senior I have in my class.”   
Lucas has to clear his throat, not trusting his voice to come out clear when he starts talking, “E-Eliott, I am trying in your class. I don’t understand why I’m not grasping the material,” Lucas sighs and leans against the desk behind him, “I mean, art isn’t really my topic. That’s why I’ve waited till my senior year to take an art class,” that makes Mr. Dem...Eliott laugh.

“Well, I’d be happy to give you any extra tutoring help if you need it. You could have come to me sooner if you saw you were struggling,” Eliott smiles, “I hope you don’t think of me as this super scary teacher that you can’t talk to. Art is something that you’re supposed to enjoy and be an active contributor. Everyone is an artist.”

Lucas smirks, “I think I just found my senior quote.”

Eliott laughs, “I’ll write it down for you,” he says and before Lucas can say anything Eliott is scribbling something down on a sticky note. Lucas thinks he can watch him write forever. His eyebrows come slightly together in concentration, and his tongue keeps peeking out to wet his lips as he writes. His shoulders are hunched slightly forward, making him appear small and fragile. For someone who has such a presence at the head of a classroom he has a real talent for making himself seem smaller, “here,” Lucas takes the small note, doing a double take at what is written there, “it isn’t the quote, but it’s my number,” Eliott clarifies as he stands and collects his bag and jacket, suddenly regaining his teacher presence as he towers over Lucas, “so we can set up a date to meet up. I have a certain date I have in mind, but we’ll talk,” he says with a wink.

As they walk out of the room together and are about to split ways (since the student parking and teacher parking are on opposite sides of the school) Eliott adds, “oh, Lucas, you probably shouldn’t tell anyone about the number thing. Even though I like helping students in any way possible, the school board not might have the same outlook.”

Lucas nods, “yeah, yeah, for sure. See you Monday.”

Eliott smiles and Lucas loves the way it turns his eyes into small crescents, “or even before then.”

Hey, Professor, it’s Lucas Lallemant

Lucas sends the text when he gets back to his apartment. He honestly isn’t expecting a response until tomorrow morning, so he throws his phone and backpack onto his bed and treks his way into the kitchen.

“Hey, kitten! How was school?” Mika asks as soon as Lucas steps a foot into the room. 

“It was fine,” he says and reaches over to grab a cup.

“Still have a crush on your professor?”

Lucas rolls his eyes, “I wouldn’t call it a crush…”

Mika splutters, “uh, I would!”

“Whatever,” Lucas walks over and fills his cup with water before continuing, “he offered to tutor me-”

“Oh! Well you know what that means, kitten. He’s giving you some after. School.  _ Tutoring _ .” Mika said, adding a thrust of his hips with each word.

Lucas groans, “you are so disgusting. I’m going to go pass out on my bed.”

“Have fun!” Mika says slapping him on the ass on his way out, “but not too much.”

Lucas closes his door rather roughly to make a point before diving towards his bed. He burrows his face into his pillows before letting out a deep sigh. He really is just a hopeless romantic when it comes to Eliott (Mr. Demaury? Lucas isn’t sure what to call him in his own thoughts anymore). Lucas knows nothing can actually happen...or...could it? Eliott even said they were close in age, and he does look rather young. Lucas is also in his last year of university with just one semester left. Maybe he does have a chance after all…

His phone pings with a notification beside him. He lifts it up and his phone feels like it weighs thirty pounds in his hand.

I told you, you can just call me Eliott.

Right, sorry, forgot

Unless you think that’s weird

You can call me Professor if you want to

No no I think Professor is weirder than Eliott

Especially if we’re meeting outside the classroom

Right

Anyways, speaking of meeting outside the classroom

There is an art show taking place Saturday night that I think would be a ton of fun to go to if you’re willing to miss out on any parties you and your friends had planned for Saturday

It’s in the city so it would be a little bit of a drive but I think it’s really awesome

That sounds great

I’ve never been to an art show before

Well, except for the ones the university holds for the art students since my friend is a painter

Oh is your friend Yann?

Yeah how’d you know?

I overheard him telling some guy a story about a certain Lucas Lallemant puking on some poor guys shoes at a party

Real classy there, Lucas

Oh my god I’m going to murder him

It’s not that bad

I was mortified

I can’t believe he’s telling other people that story

My social life is over

We’ve all been there

If you go Saturday maybe I’ll share some of my most embarrassing stories at parties from when I was at Uni

I didn’t know they had parties at universities in the 1800s

Haha you are so funny, Lucas

I’m not that old

Okay whatever you say

I would tell you to “fuck off” but I won’t

Because I’m a sophisticated adult

...That went to university in the 1800s

Dear god you are annoying.

I’ll text you tomorrow

Okay bye, Eliott

**Lucas Is Hella Gay Groupchat**

Guys, you will never guess what just happened

Yann: Lisa moved out and you have a bed again

Basile: Did you get dicked down by your hot professor?

Arthur: You won the lottery

Basile was the closest

Arthur: alright, well spill already

Eliott (aka Professor Hottie) invited me out on a date

Yann: wait wtf

Arthur: YES GET THAT D LUCAS

Basile: shit man go off

Okay well it’s not technically a date

But needless to say my grade wasn’t the best in his class

He offered to give me tutoring help (and gave me his number might I add)

Basile: ;)

And he just invited me to go to an art show with him Saturday night

Yann: our boy Lucas is all grown up and having against-the-universities-rules relationships

I’m so proud

Arthur: remember to wear protection sweetie okay?

Sure, mom

But no seriously guys my heart is, like, in cardiac arrest

Arthur: aw wait this means you’ll miss Emma’s party this weekend

Sorry not sorry

I’ll tell you guys all about it sunday promise

Basile: do you have a picture of this Professor Hottie

No, i can’t find his instagram account

Yann: meaning that you’ve already looked for it

*facepalm*

Yes I’ve already looked for it

Like you’ve never tried stalking your crush before

Arthur: OH SHIT HE JUST SAID HE HAS A CRU S H

I could not be eye rolling any harder rn

Anyways I’m going to bed

It’s been a long day

Arthur: you’re gonna need your rest for tomorrow

Basile: ;)))))

I’m so done with you guys

Yann: night, Lulu

Night

  
  


The next morning moved by at a snailspace. He wasted most of it by watching some random TV show about cops with Manon. He knows he should start his homework for Uni, but really isn’t in the mind space for it. Especially since the only thing on his mind is Eliott, Eliott, Eliott.

Eliott and Lucas had communicated just briefly that morning (Eliott had asked him where he lived so he could pick him up), but Lucas was craving more. Lucas was never the type of guy to just have a fling or a one night stand, especially not in high school since he wasn’t even out yet, so one can imagine how many wild oats he has yet to sow. Sure, Lucas wouldn’t be against a “friends with benefits” type of relationship with Eliott (because have you seen him?), but a serious relationship wouldn’t hurt either. But, hey, if Eliott and him don’t have a serious thing maybe Lucas can just call him an “oat.” (Hopefully they’ll have something at all).

It’s only 13:00 when there’s a knock at the door. Lucas sends a questioning look to Manon but she says that she wasn’t expecting anyone. They rock-paper-scissor it out to see who has to get up and open the door. Lucas groans as he heaves himself up from the couch, meandering his way over to the door. He probably should have slipped his sweatpants back on and not opened the door in only a loose t-shirt and his briefs, but it’s also eighty fucking degrees in the flat because Mika doesn’t believe in their cooling system (at least not in the bills).

So he swings the door open, fully expecting it to be some door-to-door salesman, but instead is met with a beaming Eliott. The smile drops, however, when he gets a chance to take in what Lucas is wearing.

“Putain!” Lucas yells rushing to close the door enough to hide himself from the neck down.

“Shit, sorry!” Eliott exclaims at the same time and immediately averts his gaze to the floor.

“What are you doing here?” Lucas says just above a whisper so he wouldn’t alert Manon in coming to the door and witnessing the catastrophic situation.

“I-I thought I would come by early and surprise you but I wasn’t...expecting-”

“Yeah no shit you ‘weren’t expecting!’” Lucas says bitterly, “I’m-well, I’m going to go get changed. I’ll be right back. Just...stay here.” Without another word he closes the door.

As he walks back through the living room he is fully aware that his whole face and neck are a bright red. Manon snickers at him from the couch.

“And who was that, Lucas?” she laughs.

He rolls his eyes, “no one important. I just...need to get changed.” He says with a flourish before disappearing into his room with Manon’s laughter filling the flat.

The next time he opens the door he is now wearing jeans and a button-up blue t-shirt with white dots. It’s the best he could do with his brain fried from the circumstances beforehand. As Lucas locks the door and turns around it’s obvious Eliott is avoiding his gaze.

“Ready?” he asks.

Lucas nods and they begin their way down the stairs in silence. But about halfway down (lucas lives on the eighth floor) he blurts out, “you saw me in my only pair of briefs.”

Eliott’s laugh eases the tension that had built up between them, “I did,” pause, “you’re not a briefs man?”

Lucas shrugs, the motion making their arms rub together, “boxer briefs, sure, but I’m more into boxers. To be honest I stole the briefs from my flatmate Mika cause all my underwear was in the wash one day and...why...am I telling you all this?” Lucas asks himself suddenly and facepalms; hoping to hide the vicious blush that is turning his whole face a rose-y pink.

Eliott laughs again and Lucas thinks he could get high on the sound, “well, I’m sure you look good in whatever you prefer.”

Lucas sees Eliott visibly tighten beside him after the words come out his mouth. Lucas raises an eyebrow at him, “oh really?” he adds jokingly.

Eliott groans, “I’m just going to stop talking I think.”

Lucas laughs, “I think that would be for the best.”

As they make their way onto the main floor Lucas keeps stealing glances. He looks at the way Eliott’s lips stay in a slight smile even when relaxed, or the way his hair bounces with every step, and the way he slightly hunches forward when he walks. Lucas studies the moles on Eliott’s face as if they formed some type of constellation. Lucas wonders if he has more underneath his clothes. And what would they look like if Lucas connected them in a soft line with his fingernail?

Eliott obviously has a presence about him, one that makes people on the streets turn their heads. Lucas isn’t sure if he got it from being a Professor or just from being so goddamn beautiful. Lucas thinks it’s a little ridiculous how attractive he is. If Eliott were just some guy at a bar, Lucas wouldn’t think twice about flirting with him, maybe even hoping for something more (ie taking him back to the flat and getting down and dirty). But of course the universe had to test him by making him his  _ Professor _ . A Professor that, in multiple occasions over the past four months, has appeared in Lucas’s “wet dreams.” All ending by Lucas waking up with damp boxers. Lucas thought that having a dream Eliott wouldn’t be a huge deal, it’ll just help him cope with the fact this his Professor is off limits. It started off “innocently” enough (if you could even use that word to describe what they were doing in Lucas’s dreams), but slowly dreams started to mix with reality. Sue Lucas if maybe once or twice he dreamt of Eliott manhandling him in the empty classroom and bending him over the desk before pounding him ruthlessly and making-

“Lucas, Earth to Lucas,” Eliott says waving a hand in front of Lucas’s face.

“Sorry, I got caught up in my thoughts,” he says shaking his head as if pulling himself out of his trance.

“Well, your chariot awaits,” Eliott smiles as he opens the car door for Lucas.

He thanks him as he steps inside just before Eliott closes the door and walks around the driver side. Once they’re on the road Eliott turns on the radio, but puts it on low volume so they can still hear each other talk. 

“So before you taught art,” Lucas begins, momentarily catching Eliott’s eyes before he turns back to look at the road, “did you do any art shows yourself?”

“As in did I make art?” Eliott asks and Lucas nods, “yeah I did. Still do, just not as much. Professing takes up a lot of time, I suppose. Eventually it becomes more about the students art and less about yours.”

“What did you use to draw?”

“A lot of my sketches were done in ink, but a lot of my actual art pieces were paints or pastels.”

“It sounds like you miss it,” Lucas says sending a small smile Eliott’s way.

Eliott chuckles, “am I that obvious?” he asks and glances over towards Lucas, “yeah I do miss it. I suppose I can always start again, but it would be like learning to ride a bike all over again. Sort of scary I guess.”

Lucas nods since he isn’t necessarily sure what to say. He supposes he feels the same about playing the piano. He stopped playing after his dad took his mom to a psych ward of some kind in Paris. It hurt too much to continue playing afterwards.

“My girlfriend has been trying to get me back into painting, but I feel like it’s something you can’t be pushed into.”

Lucas took a second to process the words being spoken to him. He was too busy staring at Eliott’s long, artistic fingers decked out in silver rings, “you have a girlfriend?”

“We’ve been together for a few years now. We met back in university. I was an art student back then,” something in Eliott’s expression drops, “she was a Psychology major.”

“Man, a relationship since Uni. You two must really be in love,” there’s an edge to Lucas’s words as he spits them out. Jaded, rough.

Eliott’s quiet before mumbling, low enough that Lucas could barely hear, “I don’t know when it’s love and when it’s not anymore.” There’s a silence that fills the car. It’s suffocating. Lucas is dying to crack open his window and stick his head out, at least to get some fresh air back in his lungs. Lucas’s reaching for the window button when Eliott speaks up, “what major are you?”

Lucas almost audibly sighs with the sudden change of topic, “I’m a med student.”

“Why are you taking an art class then?”

“I don’t know! The school made me. Apparently I need an art credit to graduate.”

“That fucking sucks. Oh wait, I shouldn’t swear in front of you, shit.” Lucas watches true terror flash across Eliott’s face, “fuck-I mean, wait ahh-”

Lucas bursts into laughter, it’s loud and bubbled up (Eliott thinks it’s the most beautiful sound ever, but of course Lucas doesn’t know that), “Eliott, I think you can swear in front of me. I’m in your car, calling you ‘Eliott,’ and we were just talking about your girlfriend.”

Eliott groans and Lucas watches his grip on the steering wheel tighten, “I know, I’m the worst Professor ever.”

“You’re not, you’re probably the coolest dude ever,” Lucas states.

Eliott raises an eyebrow at him, “‘coolest dude ever,’ huh?”

Lucas smiles (and sue Eliott if his heart skipped a beat), “did I say coolest? I meant weirdest.”

Eliott huffs a laugh, “ah, yeah that’s more accurate. Alright we’re here,” he says and puts the car into park.

Lucas gawks at the sight of the building in front of him. And suddenly he feels very underdressed. There are women walking in that look like their dresses cost as much as the building itself, and being escorted in by men that could easily be millionaires. Lucas doesn’t understand how he fits into all this.

“I am so underdressed for this shit,” he whips back around to Eliott and smacks him in the arm, “why didn’t you tell me?”

“Hey!” Eliott exclaims and dodges Lucas’ second attempt to hit him, “if I thought you were underdressed I would have said something when we left your apartment! But, I did bring this,” he says and reaches into the backseat. He pulls something out that Lucas doesn’t have time to process before it’s being placed on his head. “It’s a beret, so you’re a real french man now.”

“Getting to live down my stereotype, perfect,” Lucas grumbles as he looks in the rearview mirror hoping to adjust the hat.

Eliott laughs and tugs at Lucas’s shirt, “c’mon, lets get inside!”

Lucas doesn’t know how to react when they walk inside. There are wall-to-wall sized paintings, portraits, edited photos, graphic art, you name it. There are also sculptures the size of Eliott, but other pieces the size of a piece of paper. It’s...variety.

“Whoa…” Lucas says in a gasp.

Eliott smiles, “I know right. Okay, so before we start walking around I need a cup of coffee. Ready?” He asks and offers Lucas his arm.

They link arms as they walk further into the gallery; Eliott acting as the guide. Lucas is practically pushing himself up against him (he’s so far out of his comfort zone, it’s not even funny) as they venture further towards the back where apparently there are some “refreshments,” as Eliott calls them. Lucas doesn’t miss the sideways glances they get from people as they walk by. The women look down at them from their long noses and the mens eyes narrow, but, shockingly, Eliott doesn’t seem to give a fuck. He just pushes himself closer to Lucas while whispering small jokes about some of the attendees into his ear. Lucas almost feels a sense of pride inflate inside him, and maybe he allows himself to be greedy for just a second as he sends people around them a look that says “yeah, he’s mine and not yours. Soak him in all you want, but like the art pieces you’re looking at, you can’t touch.”

“Two cups of coffee please,” Eliott says when they reach the table in the back that is stocked full of stereotypical French treats and drinks.

Lucas looks up at him (and damn he didn’t even realize they had this much of a height difference until he got this close to Eliott. He has to practically crane his neck back in order to make eye contact,) “I didn’t ask for a coffee.”

Eliott shrugs, the motion causing their shoulders to rub together, “I thought I would just order one in case and if you didn’t want it I’d drink it.”

“Oh, I’ll drink it alright. But you’ll have to take full responsibility for making me stay awake as late as this coffee will,” Lucas says and thanks the gentleman who brings them their coffees from god knows where.

Eliott’s face transforms into something unreadable. He smirks and winks at Lucas before saying simply, “I plan to.”

Was that-was that a fucking wink?? Did he seriously just wink at him? While saying  _ that? _ Lucas is going into full breakdown mode. Lucas.exe has stopped working.

Before he can fully react he’s being pulled towards an art piece. Lucas’s role throughout the night is just being a witness to how much of an art nerd Eliott truly is. With every piece they walk up to he rattles off a good dozen facts about where the artist got their influence, or the technique they used, or what he loves most about it. Lucas doesn’t think he heard one negative thing all night.

They are walking past a piece that catches Lucas’s attention and he practically yanks Eliott’s arm to make him stop. Lucas reads the name of the piece “Burnout.” It’s a darker piece than the majority of the gallery. There’s a man falling from the sky, looks like he’s in some sort of suit. The background looks like a gray and/or black city with flashes of lights, and in the forefront is what seems to be a section of a tall building. 

“You like this one?” Eliott asks snapping Lucas out of whatever trance he was in.

“I guess. It caught my eye. It’s a lot darker themed and darker colored than other pieces in the gallery; it’s interesting.”

Eliott doesn’t say anything, obviously hoping Lucas will say something else, so he does, “I guess I can relate to it,” he says, “there was a period in my life where I just felt like I was...drowning. I felt like a burnout,” Lucas pauses when he notices his voice cracking, “maybe that’s why art is so important, because it shows us that what we feel, others feel as well. Art is a way to share and express to others that they aren’t alone.”

Lucas can feel eyes boring into the side of his head so he flicks his gaze over. Eliott’s staring at him with a small smile gracing his beautiful features and fondness in his eyes. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Lucas asks as his face cracks into a smile.

Eliott shrugs and brings his coffee cup closer to his lips, “no reason, your face just makes me happy.”

Lucas raises an eyebrow at him, “did someone spike your drink there, hotshot?”

Eliott laughs, low enough that only Lucas could hear, “maybe. I don’t know. I guess you just look so innocent, Lucas. Like the world hasn’t screwed you over yet.”

Lucas scoffs and rolls his eyes, “well, believe me, it has screwed me over enough times thank you very much.”

The next couple of weeks for Eliott, following his weekend adventure with Lucas, are rather eventful. Since his art class with Lucas is the last class of the day, he finds that Lucas stays behind to talk to Eliott more often than not. And, hey, Eliott isn’t complaining. Sometimes Eliott will put aside whatever he’s doing and have a conversation with Lucas, maybe about nothing or maybe about everything that comes to mind. Other days Eliott will be too caught up in paperwork that they don’t have time to talk but Lucas will stay and work on different assignments in the silence of the classroom. 

And it’s tearing Eliott apart.

Even from the first day of university, the moment their eyes met from across the room Eliott knew he was done for.  _ He’s beautiful _ , was the first thought that ran through Eliott’s mind. From there it was downhill. He was almost too happy that Lucas would need extra help in his class, because that meant he would spend more time around him. But he quickly shooed those thoughts from his mind, because this was a kid who needed his help, not to take advantage of him.

But, God, was Lucas making it hard. It was almost like he was asking Eliott to fuck him every time they even looked at each other from across the room. It would be so easy for Eliott to take the chance and kiss him during one of the many days Lucas stays after class. It would be so easy to simply tilt his head back and capture Lucas’s lips with his; make a mess of him so that when he pulled away Lucas’s cheeks would be flushed pink, his lips puffy and red, eyes dazed and wandering towards Eliott’s lips.

But of course that’s all fantasy.

In reality Eliott could never take that chance. He could never cross that line between student and Professor, even if the circumstances line up (like in their case.) They really aren’t that far in age. Six years at best. And Lucas is a senior with a little less than a semester to go before he graduates. But maybe that’s just Eliott trying to rationalize with himself.

“I can’t figure out this math problem,” Lucas whines from a table over. It snaps Eliott out of his thoughts and he ends up accidentally dropping the papers he had been holding in his lap. He curses under his breath before bending down in his chair to pick them up. When he looks back over Lucas has himself splayed out on the table. Arms and legs spread apart, like a starfish. His feet dangle off the edge and he swings them back and forth ( _ like a child _ , Eliott reminds himself.) But really, Eliott would give anything to walk over there, bend over Lucas and kiss him senseless. Until the world melts away and all that’s left is them in the small excuse for a classroom.

“I-I’m bad at math,” Eliot stutters, “can’t be much of assistance in that area.”

Lucas props himself up and when their eyes lock he puts on his signature grin, “well I guess you’re just useless.”

“You’re just mean,” Eliott counters as he looks back down towards his paperwork.

“Is that all I am?” Lucas counters, and Eliott isn’t sure if Lucas used a flirty tone or not. Maybe that was just in Eliott’s head.

_ That and fucking hot _ , Eliott wants to say, but he stops himself, “hm, I would say you’re smart, but…” Eliott let’s himself trail off.

Lucas gapes at him, as if offended, “I will have you know that I got a B on your last test so,” he sticks his tongue at Eliott.

That makes him laugh. He sets aside his paperwork, obviously not going to get much of it done with Lucas sitting there looking like  _ that _ , “I know you had a bio exam yesterday. How’d it go?”

Lucas shrugs, “fine, as good as it could have, I guess. I’m starting to wonder if biology was the way to go for me.”

“Hey, don’t say that. Don’t doubt yourself. Did you know that I changed from being a Literature major to an Art major my last year at Uni? So I mean, even if biology isn’t your thing, you’ll find what it is. Have faith.”

Lucas snorts, “maybe you should become a public speaker if you say stuff that cheesy.”

“That wasn’t cheesy. If you want to hear something cheesy you should hear my pick-up lines.”

Lucas’ jaw drops playfully at him, “what?! Mr. Demaury ‘picks-up’ people? Professors have lives outside of Uni?!”

Eliott laughs, “alright, fine. If you don’t want to hear it, whatever.”

“No, no!” Lucas rushed out as Eliott pretends to get up from his desk, “I want to hear it,” he says it almost sheepishly and Eliott isn’t sure if he heard him right.

Eliott clears his throat but he can’t seem to remove the smirk on his lips, “do you know what this sweater is made out of?”

“What?”

“Boyfriend material.”

“Jesus Christ,” Lucas says automatically and covers his face with his hands, “that was so cringey!”

“My best line,” Eliott jokes, “got me with Lucille.”

There’s a pause and Eliott almost thinks he sees Lucas’s smile falter, “Lucille is your girlfriend?”

Eliott nods, “yup.”

“How have you guys been together for so long; ever since Uni?”

He shrugs, “I don’t know. I suppose it’s all about the trust and respect that we have for each other,” even though there really isn’t any left, “and you don’t want to rush girls into things. Especially if you’re looking for a long-term relationship. You don’t want to keep prying for them to kiss or...um, make love. The longer you wait, and the more of a gentleman you are, the more worth it will be in the end. At least that’s how I look at it. Plus, I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gotten laid just from holding a door open or something like that,” Eliott lets himself rest on Lucas’s face, “I’m sure you’re a catch among the ladies here, huh?” He ends it as more of a question.

Lucas shrugs, “ladies aren’t really my thing.”

“Really? I thought they would be flocking over you-”

Lucas shakes his head, “no, I mean that...I’m more of a catch among...the male population on...campus.”

The silence that hangs in the room is deafening. Eliott’s ears are ringing and his head is spinning. It’s just a constant string of fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck going around over and over in his mind, because now he doesn’t know if he has any self control left. The string probably snapped a long time ago, but only now did Eliott realize how much his bones are aching to kiss Lucas.

“I want to paint you,” Eliott says without thinking. When he sees the look of pure confusion on Lucas’s face he immediately starts apologizing, but Lucas stops him.

“You can paint me.”

Lucas is standing outside Eliott’s apartment. His palms are sweating and he has his fist curled up next to the door ready to knock. He isn’t exactly sure what he’s doing here. Why he decided this would be a good idea. After all, he’s falling hopelessly in love with someone he can’t have any future with.

Instead, he tells himself to suck it up and knocks on the door. There’s a bit of mumbling from the other side of the door before he hears rushed footsteps making their way closer, and then the door is being opened and Eliott is smiling down at him and Lucas melts. 

“Hey! Come on in, make yourself at home,” Eliott steps off to the side and closes the door once Lucas passes the threshold.

The apartment is small, a lot smaller than what he expected a university Professor to live in, but it’s cute. It feels like a home. You can obviously tell it’s been lived in. Lucas always thinks it’s unnerving when you walk into someone’s house and it looks like something straight out of an IKEA magazine. But Eliott’s apartment has life to it, there are sketches taped up on the walls, the soft hum of a vinyl being played from one of the rooms, small marks on the walls and doorways which makes Lucas wonder how in the heck they got there. The apartment makes him feel like he belonged there since he walked in.

“I love your apartment,” Lucas says as he shrugs off his jacket. It’s an understatement to say that Lucas “loves the apartment,” but he doesn’t want to scare Eliott by saying “I want to live here with you.”

Eliott smiles while he takes Lucas’ coat for him and places it on a hanger in the hallway, “thanks, I actually just moved back to Paris a little over a year ago, but I tried to make this apartment as home-y as possible for myself.”

Lucas walks into the first room on the right, obviously the living room as seen by the couch and two chairs.

“Do you want a beer?” Eliott asks from a different room. Lucas didn’t even hear him walk away.

“Uh, sure, why not?” Lucas says back.

Eliott is walking back into the room in the next few seconds with two beers in tow. He hands one over to Lucas and pops the other one open for himself. Lucas follows suit and twists the cap off the beer. Thankfully it wasn’t the kind where you need a bottle opener. 

“Did you draw these?” Lucas motions towards the sketches hung up on the wall. There’s a variety of drawings, including badgers and foxes to flowers and a...hedgehog? Or is that a porcupine?

“Yeah, but I’m drawing myself better now,” Eliott says nonchalantly as he raises the beer to his lips.

Lucas forgot how gorgeous this man was. He has to physically shake his head to stop himself from staring, “you-you’re the badger?”

“Badger?” Eliott says and raises a brow at Lucas, “it’s a raccoon. They’re my spirit animal.”

“Your spirit animal is a raccoon?”

“They’re cool! And they wear masks,” he flashes Lucas with a grin.

“Ah, okay,” Lucas laughs, and he doesn’t know what prompts him to say this, but he asks, “and if you drew me? What would I be?”

The floorboards creak as Eliott turns towards Lucas, scans him, licks his lips before sipping at his beer, “I don’t know. I’ll have to think about it.”

(Eliott knew exactly what Lucas would be, but Lucas doesn’t need to know that he’s already taped up and hung on Eliott’s wall because Eliott forgot to take the drawings down before Lucas got there.)

“Alright, do you want to get started?” Eliott asks and glances towards the couch.

Lucas hums as he takes a sip from his bottle, “right, totally forgot about why I’m here,” he laughs, “how do you want me?” (Don’t @ Lucas if the first response that he heard in his head from his pretend-Eliott was “doggy-style.”)

“You can sit on the couch if you’d like and I can sit on one of the opposing chairs. I just have to go grab my sketchbook, but I’ll be right back. Just get comfortable,” Eliott pats him on the shoulder as he places his beer down on the closest surface, and it leaves a tingling feeling on Lucas’s shoulder.

So, he sits down on the couch and Eliott returns with a huge sketchbook (seriously, why do they make them that big?) and a container of graphite. They spend a good thirty minutes just tweaking small things in Lucas’ expression or position on the couch. Once Eliott finally sits and begins to draw, they start talking about random topics. They talk about how the year is going by so fast, they talk about their families (Lucas didn’t really get much into that, just simply saying he likes his mom a whole lot more than his dad), they talk about how Eliott can’t cook for shit, and they talk about...Lucille.

“So do you think you’ve finally found ‘it’ with her?” Lucas asks over the scratching of pencil on paper coming from Eliott.

He shrugs, “I’m not sure. Recently I’ve felt somewhat trapped. I mean, being in a relationship for a good six years will do that to you.”

“So you have a lot of wild oats to sow, then.”

Eliott laughs, “I suppose.”

“If you don’t end of marrying Lucille, do you see yourself marrying another girl afterwards? I know that after long-term relationships end it can affect some people pretty deeply.”

“Sure, I can see myself marrying someone else,” a pause, then, “not necessarily a girl though.”

Lucas doesn’t think his head has ever snapped over so fast. Eliott is smirking at him, eyes locked on. The scratching of pencil on paper stopped and silence fills the room. Suddenly, his heart feel as if it is too big for his chest. He coughs to look away.

Eliott sighs, “alright, why don’t we take a break? Put on some music, and I can get us some snacks.”

“I’m down for some snacks,” Lucas says and cracks his neck. Being in one position for an hour will do that to you, “so long as you aren’t making them.”

Eliott laughs as he sets down his sketchbook and walks over towards the kitchen, “no, don’t worry. I don’t plan on giving you food poisoning so soon. Maybe it’ll happen the fourth of fifth time we hang out.”

Lucas chuckles as he watches Eliott leave. As soon as he is sure Eliott’s in the kitchen he sneaks a peek at the sketchbook. He pouts when he realizes it was folded back to the cover page so that he wouldn’t be able to see inside. He almost starts reaching for the pad before shaking his head and stuffing his hand in his pocket. If Eliott wanted him to see, he would have showed him.

To busy himself Lucas meanders over to the vinyls on the walls. He flips through them. He can’t stop himself from smiling as he looks at the collection, it is like looking at Eliott in a whole different way. The majority of the vinyls are dubstep, which isn’t what Lucas would have expected. He would have guessed Jazz or something along those lines. Eventually he stumbles upon the more rock and alternative based music. He smiles when he finds an old Queen album. He hasn’t listened to their music in a while. 

Lucas is careful taking the record out and placing it on the player after all he didn’t want to scratch anything. He places the needle down gently and “I Want to Break Free” begins to play. Lucas smiles and starts dancing and swaying to the beat. This was one of the first songs he listened to by them. He shared it with his mom one time when he went to visit her, and she said she loved it. Later that same year he got her a CD player and a Queen CD for her to play. She cried.

“I didn’t peg you for a Queen guy,” Eliott’s voice snaps him out of his trance.

Lucas smirks, “I guess I’m a little corny when it comes to my music taste.”

“Oh yeah?” Eliott asks and leans against the back of one of his chairs, watching Lucas as he sways his hips and body to the song, “and what does your music taste consist of?”

Lucas shrugs, “Nirvana, The Stones, The Beatles…The Clash!”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, totally corny.” Lucas rolls his eyes as Eliott snickers, “and your dancing is definitely corny.”

Before Lucas can really react (or maybe he doesn’t want to in fear that Eliott will stop) Eliott is reaching his hands out and placing both on Lucas’ hips. They slide together, Eliott’s leg slotting between Lucas’. “You have to feel the rhythm,” Eliott breathes out as he pushes them even closer together. His hands are gently rocking Lucas’ hips as his own hips sway in the same motion. Lucas thinks this is more intoxicating than any alcohol that he ever drank. Lucas’ vision feels blurry as he begins to focus on the pressure Eliott is applying with his fingers. It’s just enough to make Lucas wonder if there will be bruise marks there tomorrow. He can hardly breathe when Eliott ducks his head down and rests it in the crook between Lucas’ neck and shoulder. And maybe he’s in a dream when Eliott’s hands start trailing up his back in winding patterns. One rests on the back of his neck and the other moving back down towards his lower back where it stops just before his ass curves out.

“Fuck, what are you doing to me?” Eliott groans to no one in particular.

Then there is a nipping feeling on Lucas’ neck, and it takes him a whole of five seconds to realize that Eliott is leaving a good sized hickey on the side of his throat. The song is long forgotten when Lucas trails his hand up into Eliott’s hair which urges the taller boy on. The swaying of their hips stopped long ago, now replaced by soft rubbing against each other. Mainly Eliott rubbing his thigh against Lucas, eliciting a few abandoned moans. As soon as Eliott separates from Lucas’ neck they dive in for a kiss. 

Well, Lucas does at least, but he is met with only air. The warmth of Eliott’s hands are fading and Lucas’ arms are empty of everything Eliott. He opens his eyes and finds Eliott staring at him like he’s a fucking bomb or something.

“Fuck, I can’t - I...I shouldn’t have done that.”

Lucas swallows. He feels like he can’t do anything besides lean back against the piano bench behind him.

“Shit, I should go,” Eliott makes a step towards the door but freezes, “but wait - this is my apartment. Maybe you should go?” Lucas feels his gut churning when Eliott looks his way, obvious panic in his eyes, “but I don’t want you to go,” Eliott says it softly, almost like it hurts to say it. But then he says it again, softer, “I don’t want you to go,” and again, “I don’t want you to go.”

And in two strides Eliott’s crossing the living room back to Lucas. A hand wraps around the back of his neck and he’s pulled into the most breathtaking kiss. And fuck him if Eliott’s lips aren’t the softest things in the world. Lucas sucks in a breath and locks his arms around Eliott’s neck. Lucas wants them closer, closer. He pushes his torso against Eliott in hopes the taller boy will understand. He does, thankfully, and brings an arm down to loop around Lucas’ waist in order to keep him in place. 

When Eliott licks Lucas’ bottom lip, asking for entrance, Lucas doesn’t hesitate in giving it to him. He is so, so hungry for Eliott. And for once he can tell Eliott is hungry for him. Lucas has been starving himself; never succumbing to his wants to kiss, to hold, to touch.

“Up,” Eliott says between kisses.

“What?” Lucas huffs out, momentarily separating them.

Eliott presses their foreheads together and points his head down, “jump up, Lu.”

A shiver runs down his spine at the pet name. His legs feel like jelly as he jumps up, but not even a second later Eliott guides his legs around his waist and locks them there. Lucas can’t stop the moan breaching his throat as Eliott takes to his neck for a second time that night. Lucas closes his eyes and revels in the way Eliott’s hands are cupping his ass, giving it squeezes every now and then, the way Eliott’s chest is pressed right against Lucas’, and Lucas doesn’t ever want to forget the moan Eliott lets out when he pulls on his hair to tip his head back. Lucas doesn’t waste a second before latching onto Eliott’s neck, leaving a good sized hickey of his own.

Lucas didn’t even realize Eliott had been walking the whole time until he’s thrown onto a soft bed, landing with a bounce. He sits up and watches as Eliott turns around to close the door. When Eliott turns back around he freezes and Lucas doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything more beautiful. Now, Eliott is beautiful in day-to-day basis. But like this: lips red and puffy, looking at Lucas through his lashes, irises blown out in desire; there is nothing more beautiful.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Lucas,” Eliott says and takes a step forward.

Lucas smiles, “you should see yourself.”

And then shirts are being ripped off. Zippers are undone and jeans discarded to the side. Eliott presses down, grinding their hips together, and Lucas doesn’t think he’s ever been this hard in his life. They kiss and suck and Eliott is leaving kisses down his chest and stomach as he continues the incessant rhythm of grinding which is bringing Lucas to the edge way faster than he cares to admit.

“Hand,” Lucas pants out between moans. He can’t even think straight (can he ever though?) and he’s lost all vocabulary.

“What?”

“Give me your hand,” Lucas demands and Eliott complies. Their fingers slot together where Lucas’ hand had been resting next to his head. Eliott curls them tight, like he’s afraid Lucas will run off.

“Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long. You’re killing me, Lu.”

Lucas’ laugh turns into a moan when Eliott’s rhythm picks up, “I’ve wanted to kiss you since the first day I saw-” a half-sob, half-moan escapes his lips as Eliott tugs down his boxers. His legs are lifted up and placed on both of Eliott’s shoulders. 

Eliott fucks like he’s going to die. He’s eating Lucas out like it’s his last fucking day on Earth and Lucas is his final meal. Lucas tilts his head back and reaches for a pillow to muffle his moans. He doesn’t want to disturb neighbors more than he has already. 

“I want to see you face,” Eliott says before nipping at the soft skin between his dick and hole. “Lucas, I want to see your face. You’re so beautiful, I don’t want to miss anything.”

His grip on the pillow softens and Eliott takes the opportunity to yank the pillow away and throw it across the room. Lucas is definitely not prepared for the  _ look _ on Eliott’s face: endeared, genuine, but most of all, lusting. 

And then a hand, with all those silver fucking rings on it, wraps around his cock and it’s all over way too fast. His back arches off the bed and the moan gets stuck at the back of his throat as his nails carve marks into Eliott’s back. But Eliott doesn’t seem to mind, in fact he seems to enjoy it.

As Eliott sets Lucas back down gently Lucas can feel how hard Eliott still is. And he knows that, knowing Eliott, he won’t say anything about it. So, before Eliott can react Lucas flips them around so he’s in a straddling position, ass cheeks settled just right so that they are sandwiching Eliott’s dick. Eliott lets out an inhuman groan as he goes to reach for Lucas’ hips. But he swats the older boy’s hands away, “no touching this time, mister,” Lucas smirks as he climbs down, down, down until he’s settled where he needs to be. He helps Eliott out of his boxers one leg at a time, but wastes not a second more before swiping a long stripe up Eliott’s length.

Lucas can tell this is going to be over fast because of how Eliott has been hard for a long, long time. But he won’t hold it against him, after all, he put Lucas’ needs above his own. That, in and of itself, it so fucking hot Lucas think he might get hard again.

Now, Lucas doesn’t have a ton of experience in blow jobs. But, he’s a guy, so he should know what guys like and want. It doesn’t take any longer than a couple minutes befor Eliott is saying, in a raw voice, “fuck, Lucas, I’m coming.” And Lucas takes the opportunity to bottom out and take all that Eliott has to offer.

He wasn’t one of the lucky guys to be born without a gag reflex, so the whole time he’s gagging on the dick, but when he pulls off Eliott is staring at him with this wonderment in his eyes.

“What?”

“You - you didn’t have to swallow. Here, let me get you a tissue,” Eliott says and reaches over to his bedside table. Lucas is half expecting him to just hand it over, but Eliott just closes the distance and wipes around Lucas’ lips and chest for him to help clean him up. “We can take showers. You can go in first if you want and clean up.”

Lucas shifts from side to side, nervous and antsy, before saying, “we could shower together.”

That makes Eliott freeze and when they lock eyes there is something unreadable that flashes across Eliott’s face, “no, Lu, I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Lucas comes crashing down from his post-sex high real fast. He climbs off the bed and tries his best to hide his disappointment, “yeah, for sure.”

He’s turning towards the door when he feels a hand grab his wrist. Breath tickles his ear as Eliott says, “I don’t regret anything we just did, Lu. I just know that if I went into that bathroom with you, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from-” Eliott cuts himself short.

“From what?” Lucas asks.

“From devouring you.”

Eliott’s phrasing alone already has Lucas all hot and bothered. He wouldn’t care if Eliott wants to fuck him in a dumpster, let alone a bathroom. 

“Maybe I want you to.”

Eliott shakes his head, “no, I want to be able to take you apart properly.”

Lucas tips his head back in a moan, “you need to stop with that or I might jump you.”

Eliott laughs and suddenly he sounds much further away, “alright get going,” he says and slaps Lucas’ ass, “so I can take a shower before it’s too late.”

When Lucas and Eliott are both done showering (and Lucas gets changed into one of Eliott’s shirts. The thing drapes off of him like a tarp, but it also smells exactly like Eliott. And, plus, Eliott told him he looked fucking hot) they both hop back into Eliott’s bed and get settled under the covers. Lucas cuddles up with Eliott, and links arms around each others waists.

“Am I your first?” Eliott asks after a few minutes of kissing. But can you blame Lucas? The light is making Eliott look like an actual golden angel.

“My first what?”

“Your first guy?”

Lucas laughs, “you wish.”

Eliott chuckles and rubs their noses together.

“And you? Am I your first?”

Eliott looks up to make eye contact, “not exactly,” he says with a smirk.

Lucas smiles and leans forward, sealing their lips in another kiss. They roll around for a few more minutes. Hands trailing around different places and kisses being placed all around. Lucas doesn’t want this to ever end. He doesn’t think the smiles on their lips will ever fade away. Especially when Eliott lift-slides Lucas by his hips to hold him closer.

“What did you think when you first saw me, that day in class?” Lucas asks as he lays down on Eliott’s chest.

“I thought, for sure, this guy likes dubstep.”

“I don’t like dubstep, fuck,” Lucas laughs.

“Right, forgot your taste in music is corny.”

“Come on, Queen is a good band.”

Eliott laughs and pauses to comb back a portion of Lucas’ hair, “the first time I saw you wasn’t in class. I actually stopped in to grab a coffee at one coffee shop by my apartment when I moved in. You weren’t at the register, but I saw you behind the counter making drinks. Everyone was staring at you, as was I. You were all I saw.”

Lucas smiles and lifts his head to steal a kiss from Eliott. It was supposed to be short, but Eliott obviously had other ideas as he flipped them around, stealing kiss after kiss.

“We never would have met if I hadn’t signed up for an art class. Or if you didn’t move back here for the job as a Professor.”

“I admit, it’s scary,” Eliott says and leaves a small kiss on the back of Lucas’ shoulder.

“But it still happened,” Lucas says, “whenever I think about the choices I make, I always tell myself that there’s a Lucas in a different universe who chose the other option. A, uh, parallel universe. That way, in every reality, I’ve done everything.”

Eliott hums, “I don’t know if I buy it.”

“Well, you’re wrong. Because right now there is a different Eliott and Lucas, laying just as we are, but the curtains are a different color. Like, green or something.”

“Is that Eliott and Lucas together forever?”

“Yeah, they are.”

The next Monday Lucas is freaking out. He doesn’t know how to act around Eliott anymore now that they spent a whole weekend just rolling around in bed together. It was one of the most magical times of Lucas’ life, and he’s sure Eliott feels the same. However, there are also other complications. For one, Eliott is still with his girlfriend, he’s also Lucas’ teacher, and no one can find out about what they did or else they would most likely be in deep shit.

It’s fine that Eliott is still with his girlfriend, Lucas thinks. It was just a casual thing. It wasn’t like they are in a relationship or anything. Lucas should be able to understand that Eliott can’t jeopardize his life for him. (Though, maybe it hurts a little.)

“Guys, we have a problem,” Lucas announces when he gets to the lunch table.

Arthur snickers and glances between his friends, “is anyone else getting deja vu?”

“Shut up! This is serious!” Lucas whines as he sits down.

“What up, Lu?” Yann asks as he scoops pasta into his mouth.

Lucas sighs, “Eliott and I slept together.”

“What?!” Baz shrieks. 

Arthur is quick to cover his mouth as people around the room turn towards their table, “dude, quiet!” Arthur reprimands.

“Sorry,” Baz says in a whisper, “but, what?!”

Lucas rubs his head, “I know. He and I were hanging out and we were dancing and then...everything got out of control. But we ended up spending the entire weekend together. We watched movies, made dinner, made-out...a lot. We talked for so long. I’ve never been that happy before.”

Yann speaks up first, “okay, well, does he feel the same way?”

Lucas groans, “I don’t know! I mean, he has a girlfriend, right?”

“Woah, Lucas the Homewrecker!” Baz shouts out again.

Arthur rolls his eyes in exasperation, “seriously, Baz, sense the conversation.”

“He has a girlfriend?” Yann asks.

“Yeah, they’ve been dating for - like - five years or something. He’s also my Professor which complicates things even more! Ugh, it’s just a disaster. But, he also told me he’d never felt this way for anyone before. I just...I don’t know what to believe at this point. I don’t know if I should skip his class today or not.”

“No, don’t skip his class,” Arthur says, “if you do it’ll just show him how you’re overthinking everything and then he’ll get awkward as well. When you get to class just act normally, or try and get there before everyone else and act a little more...interested, if you will.”

Lucas nods, “yeah, okay, I might try that. Thanks, guys. I’m going to head back to the dorm before his class to, eh, freshen up.”

Arthur sends him a wink, “good luck, Lu,” they call after him.

It almost hurts walking into class. He doesn’t make it early because his stupid brain forgot his binder all the way back in his room. So instead of getting there twenty minutes early, he spend those twenty minutes sprinting across campus.

He gets to class panting, sweaty, and exhausted. But when he steps through the door he manages a smile on his face. Lucas knows he’s probably the last student to lecture, but seriously the room is dead silent when he walks in. All eyes turn to him and he feels like a deer in headlights. He tries to swallow down the severe blush creeping on his face, but when Eliott and him make eye contact and Eliot immediately looks away it doesn’t help the racing in Lucas’s heart.

Lucas takes his seat. He feels like he’s going to be sick as he pulls out a pencil and Eliott begins lecture. It is the longest hour Lucas has ever experienced before class is dismissed. His head is spinning as he puts his binder in his backpack and zips it up before shoving the straps around his shoulders. He keeps his eyes down as he passes Eliott’s desk, in fear of making eye contact. But he’s jerked out of his trance when a hand is wrapped around his forearm and he is being dragged towards another door connected to the classroom. The door is being opened, rather forcefully he might add, and the fluorescent lights in the room flick on so fast Lucas is disoriented. He can’t comprehend how his back gets pressed against the door or whose lips are capturing his in a frenzy until he feels fingers and metal rings sliding underneath his shirt. 

“Elio-hm,” Lucas can barely manage out his name between kisses. His knees grow weak when Eliott begins to move down his neck, sucking and licking over a hickey Lucas didn’t take time to hide.

“It’s already started to fade,” Eliott mumbles against Lucas’s skin. His voice is already so low and hoarse it’s making Lucas’s skin crawl. Lucas can’t manage any reply except for a low moan, which gets swallowed up by Eliott’s tongue and lips. “Do you know how hard it was not to jump you right when you walked in the door? Or how hard it was not to drag you out of your seat in the middle of class and make you a mess right there? Fuck.”

Lucas busies himself with peppering kisses on Eliott’s jaw, up to his cheekbone, to his forehead, down his nose, and stopping before his lips, “I was terrified when I walked in and you looked away from me that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me.”

Eliott’s eyebrows crease together, “oh, Lu, that’s not why I looked away. Admittedly I looked away because I didn’t want to jump you in the doorway. I told myself I at least had to wait until after class to suck you off.”

“Of, fuck, Eliott,” Lucas moans as Eliott’s hands tease at the waistline of his jeans, “those fucking rings.”

Eliott extracts himself from Lucas’s neck with a sloppy popping sound, “oh, sorry, I can take them off-”

“No! No, putain, please don’t. They feel so good.”

Eliott raises an eyebrow, “ah, yeah? Where do you want to feel these rings exactly, huh? Maybe...around your dick?” Eliott says and palms at the bulge already pressing against Lucas’s jeans, “or, in your ass?” Eliott asks with a smirk as he gropes Lucas.

Lucas moans, unable to form a coherent sentence. He smirks when he gets a look at Eliott’s dark eyes, and irritated red lips, he’s just as fucked as Lucas, “how about you put those long fingers around my neck, huh?”

Eliott looks taken aback for a split second, not expecting such a reaction from sweet, innocent Lucas. He takes the opportunity to twist them around and push Eliott against the wall. Lucas reaches up for a kiss, but Eliott’s hand stops him. He feels the cold path of metal rings against his neck as long fingers settle softly onto his skin. Eliott hums to himself, “well, look at that. A perfect fit. And so pretty. So fucking pretty.”

“Putain,” Lucas exhales and leans forward to plant kisses along Eliott’s jaw and down his neck.

Eliott moans, “I wish I could just make a mess of you right here. Please tell me you don’t have any other classes today.”

Lucas bites at his lip, “I don’t, but I stupidly promised my friend Imane I would study with her. I wish I could stay.”

“You better leave some time for me tonight then,” Eliott says with a smirk. He traces his fingers through Lucas’s hair, “I need to talk to you seriously for a second. So, what exactly do you want between us?”

Lucas doesn’t know how to respond to that. He wants a serious relationship with Eliott, of course. But...what does Eliott want? The way he phrased the question seems like he wants just a casual thing. Plus, he still has Lucille. It’s not like Lucas is against something casual. He could live with that.

“I mean, I wouldn’t be against something casual. Plus, we can’t go out in public since you’re still my Professor.”

Eliott groans, “okay, I’m sorry I know that I just said that we need to be serious, but hearing you say that I’m your Professor is lowkey hot. Sorry, sorry, um, I mean, if that’s what you want.”

Lucas laughs, “well, we will have to look into that tonight, won’t we? But, um, I think keeping everything under wraps would be for the best...Professor Demaury.”

Eliott moans, “stop I’m trying to be serious.”

“You say that, but your dick is sure hard against my thigh.”

“Lucas, I’m trying to be a rational adult but you are making it so hard.”

“Hm, I think you’re the one that’s hard.”

Eliott scoffs, “you are such a little brat. I’m going to make you eat your words tonight, I hope you know.”

“Ooh, is Professor Demaury getting angry?” Lucas teases.

His eyes darken and Lucas almost swallows his words, “maybe I’ll have to give you a proper punishment for talking back to your Professor.”

Lucas smirks, “maybe I’d like that.”

Eliott breaks first and rolls his eyes, “okay, I shouldn’t have said anything. Don’t you have to go meet your friend?”

Lucas sighs, “yeah I should probably head out. It’s going to suck being away from you for the next few hours. This past weekend together was so amazing, I just want to travel back in time.”

“I know, baby, me too. But I’ll be waiting at my apartment for you with a good movie, some snacks, pillows and blankets,” Eliott says with a press of lips to Lucas’s forehead.

Lucas leaves reluctantly, after Eliott basically had to kick him out of the classroom. He meets Imane at the library on campus and they both beeline for the back table that is still somehow empty. One of the biggest tests of the year (not counting midterms and finals) for their biology class is coming up, so they decided to get together and review. Honestly, thank god for Imane. Without her help Lucas would be struggling through the class right about now.

“I can’t focus anymore, Imane!” Lucas says with a groan and slams his pencil down on the table, “please can we take a break?”

Imane raises an eyebrow at him before conceding, “fine. I’ve been meaning to ask you how life’s been going anyways.”

Now, Lucas knows there is absolutely no way for Imane to know about his situation with Eliott. After all, it’s a new thing and only the boy squad really knows about it. But there’s something in her gaze that’s making him antsy, “it’s...going. But, what I really want to know is how is Sofiane?”

Sofiane is Imane’s boyfriend-but-not-really-boyfriend. Meaning, they both like each other, they talk constantly, but Imane is reluctant to start a relationship because he’s a few years older (actually the same age difference between Lucas and Eliott, but that’s beside the point). Lucas has been pushing her to at least go out on a date with her for as long as he’s known about their situation, but she always manages an excuse as to why she shouldn’t go.

She clears her throat, “he’s fine.”

Lucas quirks an eyebrow, “that’s all I get?” He pouts, “c’mon, Imane, I thought I was your friend.”

“You are the nosiest person I have ever met,” she rolls her eyes at him, “what do you want me to say? That ‘no, we haven’t gotten together yet’ or ‘I still don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship.’ Stop pressuring me.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t pressure you. I just want you to be happy, Imane.”

She gives him a soft smile, “I want you to be happy as well,” there’s a brief pause before she says, “y’know Sofiane and I were talking, and he said he has a friend who he and I both think would be a really great match for you,” Lucas opens his mouth to object, but Imane talks over him knowing what’s coming, “now, I know that you are going to say that you don’t want to be set up. And I don’t want to pressure you. But, I still think it would be really good for you to get out there and meet some people. It doesn’t have to be anything serious.”  _ You can say that again _ , Lucas thinks to himself. “Just let me know if it’s something that you might be interested in and Sofiane and I can set something up.”

He doesn’t know what he should say. He does have Eliott, but their thing isn’t serious. They just decided that today. It’s not like Lucas is not allowed to see other people, their relationship is casual, no strings attached.

Lucas gives her a soft smile, “I’ll keep it in mind, thank you, Imane.”

It’s not like Lucas should feel guilty about what he said to Imane, or about what Imane said to him. He didn’t agree to a date, he simply opened up the possibility. He’s not even betraying Eliott. Eliott is even still together with Lucille, so he shouldn’t be the one to feel guilty. Yet, there is still something churning in his stomach as he stands right outside Eliott’s door.

He just needs to push that outside, because behind this door is a man who is waiting for him. He doesn’t want his own thoughts that Eliott has prepared. So with a deep breath out, he knocks on the door.

Not even five seconds pass before the door is being flung open. Eliott’s lips are on his, and two strong hands are dragging him into the apartment. “Eli-ah,” Lucas’s attempt to say his name is cut short as he’s pressed against the door and Eliott’s hot mouth tracks down his neck.

“It’s only been a few hours since I was last with you, but it has been the most boring afternoon of my life. It was really hard to try and grade papers when I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Eliott leans in for a kiss but Lucas leans away just as fast, “by the way, what did i get on that essay?”

“96 out of 100. I was actually really impressed on your stance of artistic liberty and how you explained that - hey don’t distract me with school.”

Lucas snickers, “well, so long as I got a 96 there’s no reason for me to be here, right? I’ll see you later,” Eliott briefly looks betrayed, before the realization that Lucas is, in fact, joking, sets in.

“You actually got me for a second. I was like ‘oh, god, I made a grave mistake,’” Eliott says with a laugh and pulls Lucas closer until their heartbeats are reverberating off one another.

“I am anything but a mistake, mister.”

“I know, love. What do you say we move this to the couch so we can start the movie, hm? I have a cheesy rom-com picked out that is absolutely perfect for us to play in the background while we make-out,” he says with a wiggle of his eyebrows.   
“Sounds absolutely perfect, let’s go.”

They spend the evening just as Eliott said they would: with the movie playing dimly in the background as Lucas gasps and pants against Eliott’s lips. The popcorn is long forgotten since Lucas has something much sweeter to entertain himself with. He’s practically shaking with anticipation as the movie comes to a close and Eliott picks him up from the couch bridal style with barely any effort. The action should not be as hot as it is, but the promise that Eliott would literally be able to throw Lucas across the room makes him moan against his will.

By the time they are in the bedroom, Eliott already has Lucas whining an endless stream of “please, please, Eliott, please.” 

“You are such a needy little bottom aren’t you.”

Lucas gasps as Eliott ruts against him, creating some much longed after friction, “I’m a needy power bottom, actually,” Lucas manages to gasp out. Admittedly, with other partners Lucas was never been this clingy or needy before. He was usually the one to make his partner gasp and moan as he rode them out. But there’s something about the way Eliott stares him down, the way his fingers feel dominating and claiming with every inch of skin they touch that makes Lucas turn into an absolute mess.

“A power bottom, huh?” Eliott says with a smirk, “I’d love to see that. Couldn’t imagine little Lucas taking control.”

Lucas scowls, and in a swift move he’s able to flip them over so that he’s straddling Eliott’s lap and gazing down at him with a quirked eyebrow. “I may be needy, but I could ride you into the sunset, Demaury.” Lucas shouldn’t be as excited as he is when he feels Eliott throb beneath him. But he’s ecstatic nonetheless.

“Show me then.”

Lucas takes the bait. He honestly wasn’t expecting to like riding Eliott as much as he did. Maybe it had something to do with the way Eliott was staring at him, watching him with hooded eyes and blown pupils. Like an animal hunting its prey. Or maybe it had something to do with the fact that he was able to power bottom Eliott, even though Eliott tends to be dominating. There was something so satisfying by telling Eliott, “no touching, put your hands above your head,” and watching him struggle and shake when he couldn’t reach out and grab hold of Lucas’s waist. 

Lucas falls on top of Eliott in exhaustion once they both finish, waves of pleasure and tiredness washing over him as his hamstrings struggle to propel him back into a sitting position. He still sees flashes of white as Eliott rolls them over so that they are facing each other. Eliott smiles at him before reaching over to grab a tissue to clean Lucas’s stomach.

In the silence of the night Lucas lets himself give in, just a little. It’s between one breath and the next when Lucas lets himself believe that, as they gaze into each other’s eyes in the dusty moonlight, they are together. More than just fuckbuddies or more than just friends with benefits. He tells himself that Eliott likes him back, because he’s being so gentle as he helps to wipe Lucas clean. But he allows the fantasy to fall apart at the sound of Eliott’s voice.

“That was...amazing. I’ve never been ridden before,” Eliott says into the darkness.

Lucas hums, “well I’m glad I could show you what you were missing,” a pause, “I’m going to be so sore tomorrow. But it’ll be the good sore, the type of sore that reminds me of you.” He groans, “now I have to go take the bus back home that’s going to be awful.”

“You could stay the night if you wanted.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I probably shouldn’t,”  _ get too comfortable here, with you _ goes unspoken. “Plus, I have an early class tomorrow.”

The shadows on Eliott’s face looks sad, or maybe that’s just Lucas self-projecting, “well, maybe next time.”

Lucas flinches, “yeah, maybe next time.”

He gets dressed in the darkness. He feels Eliott’s eyes on him as he does so, but doesn’t succumb to the urge to turn around and kiss him goodbye. That’s something a boyfriend would do, and they are not boyfriends. It still stings a little when Eliott doesn’t walk him out of the apartment, leaving Lucas to meander through his hallway in the dusty light of the moon alone.

When he’s out on the street he makes a phone call.

“Lucas,” Imane’s voice is groggy with sleep, “why are you calling me, what’s wrong?”

“I just wanted to tell you I’d do it. I’d go out with whoever you set me up with. Just give me a place and a time.”

A pause, then, “what changed your mind?”

“I think I need to know when it’s love and when it’s not.”

Lucas isn’t necessarily avoiding Eliott. He’s just acting a bit more distant. In class he tries his best to avoid Eliott’s searching eyes, and afterwards he still stays behind (because even if he is acting more distant, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still long after Eliott’s gentle yet passionate kiss) but not as long as he used to. They still hang out, but the past couple times Lucas has tried to keep them in a neutral setting, like in a cafe or a library. He’s avoiding Eliott’s apartment like the plague, because he knows that if they venture up Eliott’s apartments winding stairs they would most likely end up in bed together again. And, sure, that’s the whole point of their relationship. To end up in bed together. But Lucas feels himself growing attached, and he doesn’t want to let himself venture down a road he knows only ends in disaster.

They meet up at a bar, exactly two weeks since they met at the library. Lucas does his best to keep track of what days they meet, to at least have a good ten days between each visit outside the lecture hall. Lucas arrives fashionably late, outfit consisting of a snapback, a solid white shirt with HERO written across the top right, jeans, and his signature pair of sneakers. When Lucas spots Eliott from across the bar he immediately feels underdressed compared to Eliott’s flowing printed shirt (which he has the first few buttons undone and revealing his toned, smooth chest). That shirt alone puts Lucas’s entire outfit to shame.

When he walks up Eliott is having a discussion with one of the bartenders, a girl who looks much too interested in Eliott’s talk of tattoos for Lucas’s liking. He breaks off their conversation as soon as he sees Lucas slide in beside him, and his face cracks into a smile as he turns to greet him.

“Hey, baby,” Eliott says and, before Lucas can even really react, his lanky arms are around Lucas like a vice, pulling him towards Eliott’s warm chest and manly scent of beer and books. Lucas briefly wonders if that’s the cologne he’s wearing or just his natural smell.

“Hey, sorry if I kept you waiting long,” Lucas says and spares a glance towards the bartender, who looks immensely disappointed.

“Not at all. I actually have to go use the bathroom really fast, I’ll be right back,” he leaves with a not-so-subtle touch to Lucas’s shoulder.

Lucas calls over a bartender as soon as Eliott has been swallowed by the crowd, “I’ll just have a beer, thanks. You can add it to Eliott Demaury’s tab.”

“Sure thing, babe,” the bartender says with a wink and a bite of his lips.

Lucas is taken aback because  _ didn’t he see Eliott and I just now? _ Lucas shakes his head,  _ no, can’t think like that. Eliott and I aren’t something special. Maybe I should try and take someone else home tonight. _ Plus, the bartender isn’t necessarily bad looking. He’s actually one of the finer specimens at the bar.

“Your drink, sir,” the bartender says and places the bottle down in front of Lucas.

“Thanks,” Lucas pauses as he picks up the bottle and places the opening to his lips, taking a quick swig before placing it back down, “I like your tattoo, what’s the story?”

The guy glances down at his arm where a tattoo of a butterfly (something gentle for such a ruggedly handsome guy) is resting on his forearm, “it’s related to the butterfly effect. Do you know what that is?”

“I do yeah. If a butterfly flaps his wings in New Mexico it causes a tornado in China.”

The guy smiles, “exactly. So, if I hit on this cute guy at the bar, we’d find ourselves out on a date.”

Lucas laughs, “I’m not sure if-”

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Eliott says, coming out of absolutely nowhere and interrupting their conversation, “Lu, do you want to go dance?”

Lucas spares a glance towards the bartender, who seemingly has already started walking away, before looking back towards Eliott, “sure, let’s go.”

As soon as they step out towards the dance floor they are swept up in the mob of sweaty and writhing bodies, but don’t get Lucas wrong, there is nowhere he feels more alive than in the middle of the dance floor. He gets lost in the way the beat feels heavy in his veins, as if the heavy bass is in charge of pumping the blood through his body. Eliott dances close to him, but never so close that they are dancing on top of each other. A safe distance. He still feels Eliott’s eyes on him as he throws his head back at the bass drop, and lets the droplets of sweat arch down his neck, almost challenging Eliott to come a step closer. He has his eyes closed when he feels strong hands rest gently on his hips. He doesn’t feel the press of rings, and looking back that should have been enough of an indication that the hands did not belong to Eliott, but at the time he was so blissed out he could have mistaken female hands for Eliott’s. Without thinking he arches into the touch, rolling his hips backwards until he feels the brush of denim on denim. A satisfactory moan falls out of his mouth at the feeling. 

It isn’t until the guy leans forward and says “want to get out of here?” that Lucas realizes he has made a mistake.

His blood stops pumping in time with the beat and his eyes fly open. He doesn’t have time to react before Eliott is punching the guy off, nearly sending him toppling to the ground. The guy curses at Eliott, saying he busted his lip, and they watch him march away from the crowd. Suddenly, Lucas is being pulled away from the dance floor and out the door of the bar into the open air. He’s at a loss for words when he sees Eliott’s red hand. Not bleeding, but will probably bruise. Lucas is scared, excited, and mad all at the same time. He doesn’t know what to say, so he says nothing as they start walking away from the bar.

They’re about halfway to the nearest bus stop when Eliott says, “why were you dancing with him.” It isn’t phrased as a question, but honestly it’s what sends Lucas from scared, excited and mad, to just straight-up mad.

“Why do you care?”

Eliott frowns, “why shouldn’t I care?”

“Don’t answer my question with a question.”

“Fine. I wanted to dance with you, okay? I don’t want some random guy grinding up on you.”

Lucas rolls his eyes, “it doesn’t concern you if some random guy is grinding up on me. I was enjoying it, so what do you care?” He wasn’t enjoying it, not when it wasn’t Eliott, but that’s beside the point.

“It doesn’t concern me?!”

“No! It doesn’t, Eliott. It shouldn’t matter if I want to dance with a dude from a bar.”

Eliott sputters for a second or two before he shouts, “but you thought you were dancing with me! You had your stupid eyes closed!”

“I don’t fucking need your help, Eliott! You're not my boyfriend! You shouldn’t feel like you have the right to tell me who and who I don’t get to dance with! That’s not your right!” Lucas is so angry. So, so angry, “you don’t even like me! You just thought I was pretty enough to have sex with, right? As a fuckbuddy you don’t get to rule over my actions.” Lucas’s words fall out him with venom before he turns and walks away.

As if on cue he gets a call from Imane as he boards the bus. He’s still seething, but perhaps her voice will help calm his nerves. “Hey, what’s up?” Lucas asks as he takes one of the many available seats.

“Hey, I just heard from Sofiane that the guy we want to set you up with says he’s free next saturday. Does that work for you?” Her voice is a little distant on the other line, as if she’s on speakerphone.

“Yeah, that works. Thanks again, Imane.”

“Oh, Sofiane is here too. You can thank him.”

“Hey, Lucas!” Sofiane says from the other line.

Lucas laughs, “hey, Sofiane, thanks for your help.”

“Of course, bro.”

Imane talks again, “we’re going to go I think.”

“Yeah, go make out.”

Imane mockingly laughs at him, “haha, you’re off speaker. I knew you were going to try and pull something like that.”

Lucas smiles, “what can I say? You know me the best.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll send you an exact place and time for the date later this week. Bye, Lu.”

“Bye, Immy.”

The night before the scheduled date (which is taking place around six at a restaurant called “Bistro.” Very cliche if you ask Lucas, but apparently it’s nice) he finds himself chilling in his flat with the gang, huddled around four controllers, aggressively playing Mario Kart, and pizza boxes and empty beer bottles littering the floor. 

“No, nonononono - NOOOOOO!” Basile practically screams as his little Toad character goes flying off Rainbow Road for the seventieth time tonight. How Basile is still ahead of Lucas, he has no idea.

“Yann, if you use that blue shell I will strangle you with my own two hands,” Arthur says, eyeing his friend down.

Yann laughs, “well, better buy me a headstone because here it comes.”

“You bastard.”

“You’ll still be ahead of Lucas, his character is just going round and round in circles over there,” Yann snickers, “you good man?”

“Yeah, all good. You guys know I hate Rainbow Road anyways.”

Basile laughs, “only because you suck at this game.”

Lucas huffs, “it’s a stupid game. With stupid sensitivity. It’s stupid. Okay?”

Yann finishes the game in number one, much to Arthur’s dismay. And to no one’s surprise Lucas comes dead last. Yann gets up from his chair to take a photo with the screen as Arthur and Basile remnants of pizza and popcorn at him. They’re debating on if they should start a new game of Mario Kart, or switch over to GTA when Lucas gets a text from Eliott saying “hey. You up?” He groans and throw his phone in between the cushions of the couch. He honestly didn’t think it was enough to warrant the attention of everyone else in the room, but they pause their discussion and look over at him in confusion nonetheless.

“You okay, Lu?” Yann asks, angling more towards him.

Now, Lucas doesn’t know if he should be brutally honest with his friends. But, these people are his gang, not just his friends but his brothers. They were there when he came out, and they’ve been here ever since. “There’s just...it’s about Eliott,” Lucas looks up at them through his lashes, afraid of their response, but they all sit there patiently, simply waiting for Lucas to continue, “we sort of have a...situation. It’s mainly a friends with benefits agreement. And it’s stupid, I simply shouldn’t have agreed to it. Because now I actually  _ like _ him, but I know he won’t be able to since he has a girlfriend and our relationship is complicated. I feel like I should just end it while I’m ahead. But then I’m with him and everything is so  _ good _ and I just can’t convince myself to not see him.”

Silence stretches in the room, the crackling of TV echoing in Lucas’s ears. Yann sighs and begins with, “as your best friend I feel like I have to give you advice. Listen, this may not be what you want to hear, but someone has to say it. Maybe breaking it off with Eliott is the right call. I mean, he’s a good guy at heart, I can see that. But maybe...right now isn’t the time for a relationship with him, y’know? We’re Uni students about to graduate and make so many changes in our lives. The added stress of whatever is going on between you and Eliott, in my opinion, isn’t something you need right now. I understand that you like him, but there are tons of guys like Eliott out there who would be lucky to have you. Because there is only one Lucas Lallemant.”

Lucas feels tears welling in his eyes, “thanks, guys.”

“Awe, look, he’s crying,” Basile says before they all rush forward and clobber one another in a hug.

Lucas finds himself sitting, waiting in Bistro at 5:45, checking his reflection in the spoon on the table for the fifth time in the span of fifteen minutes. He’s never been this nervous for a date since his first year at Uni. He wonders if he has any pit stains, he hopes not. Maybe he should go to the bathroom and stuff some paper towels up there to catch any perspiration? No, Lucas, that’s gross. Don’t do that. What if his date doesn’t show up? What if Sofiane showed the guy a photo of him and he was so repulsed by the photo he decided not to come? Maybe he should just leave now…

Suddenly there is something sliding into the chair across from him, and suddenly he can’t breathe. Is this what a heart attack feel like? He can’t feel anything from the waist down. He thinks his heart has stopped working.

“So, I suppose you know Imane and Sofiane?” Eliott asks with a shit-eating grin.

This is it. This is how Lucas will die.

“I - um - I...yeah…”

Eliott is then reaching across the table and resting a hand over Lucas’s, “listen, Lucas, I don’t want you to think I knew it was you before I came. Or I came because it was you. I had no idea who Sofiane was setting me up with. Do you believe me?”

Lucas nods, but he isn’t able to say anything. His throat is the driest it has ever been. Water. He needs water.

“Why - why are you here? What about Lucille?”

Eliott frowns, “what do you-”

“Hello, I’ll be your server today,” a girl says, cutting Eliott short, “can I get you both something to drink?”

“Water for me,” Lucas says and Eliott says the same.

As soon as she walks away Eliott looks back to the other side of the table, “I know that we agreed on something casual, but I - I don’t know. Would you want to see where this would go?” Lucas’s throat feels like it’s constricting, “two of our closest friends thought that we would be good together.”

He doesn’t know what to feel. On one hand, Eliott is saying exactly what he has been hoping he would say these past couple months. That, yeah, maybe they should give a serious relationship a try. But, on the other, is Eliott really saying this on his own will? Or is it only because of the situation they have found themselves in? Maybe, if there were in any other situation, or maybe if they had talked about a serious relationship at the very beginning, then Lucas would be saying “yes, of course, let’s give it a go.” But...that isn’t the reality they find themselves in.

“Eliott, I’m just...I have to be straightforward with you. I like you, more than just friends with benefits. I like you a lot. Love maybe...But, I don’t think a serious relationship is where we should be heading right now. My whole life is going to change in a couple weeks with graduation, and I honestly don’t know where my career will take me. I wish so badly that I could accept your proposal to a relationship. I can offer you exactly what I’ve been giving you this whole time, but any more than that...I don’t know if either of us are ready.”

Eliott nods along, and for a second Lucas thinks he sees a tear fall from his face and rest delicately on his cheek, but he swipes it away too fast for Lucas to get a clear view. They end up having a decent time at dinner. Making useless banter and eating overpriced food. The whole time Lucas warns himself that this is too much like a date still. But, after the bill is split in half, they walk to Eliott’s apartment building in comfortable silence. As soon as they step over the threshold Lucas is back into the normal they have created. Eliott crowds him up against the wall right in the doorway and starts kissing him like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to do so. Maybe it is, Lucas doesn’t know. They don’t kiss with a burning passion, but instead a steady flame, one that feels like it could burn forever.

They help each other with their clothes, taking their time with each button or zipper. They bask in the other’s presence at the edge of Eliott’s bed for what feels like an eternity before Lucas rises up and plants a kiss to Eliott’s cheek.

This time, it’s languid and slow and steamy. Lucas listens to every one of Eliott’s hitched breaths, or moans, or his ‘you’re beautiful’s. Eliott listens right back. Lucas isn’t ready for it to be over when they finish. The ending creeps up on him, much faster than he had wanted.

They lie in bed for a while afterwards but Lucas eventually sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed. He should go. But he doesn’t say that aloud because a hand is being wrapped around his waist and kisses are being trailed up his spine. Eliott pauses when he reaches Lucas’s neck, “what are you thinking about?” he mumbles into the tender skin.

He didn’t realize it had been raining outside until a flash of lightning fills the room, drowning out the soft, warm light of Eliott’s string lights hung above his bed, “I’m thinking,” he begins, “I’m wondering if I’ll ever find love. If I’ll ever find the right person to love who will love me back. Maybe I’m destined to be alone for the rest of my life. Maybe that’s my future. I feel like my whole life has just been a guessing game. I’m so tired of guessing, Eliott. So tired of the unknown.”

“I think the unknown is what is so beautiful about life,” another flash of lightning illuminates the room, “I had no idea I would be so lucky to have you walk into my life. You are such a good unknown, Lucas. Truly you deserve the world. But I don’t know if I’m the one to give that to you. I’m positive that the person you are looking for is out there right now wondering who will love them, just as you are.”

The rain begins to die down and Lucas listens to it for a while, “I think in some universe the person that I love and the person that loves me is you, Eliott. I refuse to believe that we don’t ever meet in any universe. In every version of reality there is an Eliott for every Lucas, but some are luckier than others. One version of us met while in University as two students. They were the only two studying in the library late one night. Lucas probably tripped over himself because he couldn’t believe how beautiful the other student sitting there was, and Eliott got up to help him. Another version met while in a bar. They started as a hookup but grew into a healthy relationship. There are a few versions who met while in high school for a variety of different reasons. And then there’s us. Probably one of the unlucky versions, because you have a solid future ahead of you and our relationship was never supposed to exist in the first place,” he’s so pathetic, he’s fucking bawling as he chokes out a broken, “fuck, I’m so in love with you. I’m so, so in love with you and it hurts so fucking bad.”

The next week Lucas graduates. He puts on a smile as he walks across the stage. His friends cheer him on from their spots in the mosh of graduating students. His mom looks as if she is crying as she holds her phone up, taking a video of the moment. 

Lucas looks over to the teacher section where he makes eye contact with each teacher he’s had over the past four years, but he rests a bit longer on Eliott. Lucas gives him a tight lipped smile and a small nod, and Eliott is beaming magnificently with tears streaking his face. Then Lucas turns and walks off the stage.

He rushes to his mom afterwards, clobbering her in the biggest hug ever. He gives her a peck on the cheek before he pulls away.

“Thank you for coming, mama. I missed you so much.”

She smiles up at him and strokes the side of his face, “I know, love. I’m so proud of you, I would have never missed this day for the world,” her gaze flicks over to something behind him, so fast Lucas doesn’t think he saw it right, “but I believe there is someone else here to congratulate you.”

Lucas whips around and it feels like a punch to the gut when he sees Eliott standing there in his fitted suit, looking as hot as ever, “congratulations, Mr. Lallemant.”

Lucas will not say that it didn’t hurt, to have Eliott talk to him so formally after everything, but he can understand why. So, he takes a step forward, offers Mr. Demaury his hand and says, “thank you, Professor Demaury. It was a pleasure having you as a teacher this past year,” Lucas glances behind him at his mom then looks back at Mr. Demaury, “this is my mama. Mama, this is my arts Professor, Mr. Demaury.”

His mom steps up and shakes Mr. Demaury’s hand, “pleasure to meet you, Mr. Demaury.”

“Same to you, Mrs. Lallemant. Your son was an amazing student, you should be very proud. He loves you very much.”

She smiles over at Lucas, “I know. I also know a lot about you, Mr. Demaury. You stole my sons heart.”

“Mama!” Lucas nearly yells and rushes to stop her. He definitely regrets telling her about their relationship on the way over here now.

“What?” she asks innocently.

Mr. Demaury laughs and leans forward and speaks into Mrs. Lallemant’s ear, just low enough he is sure Lucas is unable to hear, “your son stole mine as well,” then he pulls away and gives them a small wave as he walks back into the building.

The following five months is a whirlwind of changes. Lucas gets a job offer in Paris; a start to his residency at a hospital. He takes a couple weeks to pack his things and find a semi-decent apartment that won’t break his wallet trying to live in the city fresh out of Uni. Many tears were shed by him and the gang as they said their goodbyes, even though they made plans the following weekend to hang out. Because Lucas moving from Lyon to Paris is still a big change.

Lucas briefly thought about visiting a certain art Professor at his classroom. Lucas knew he would be there, since all the Professor’s usually take a few weeks after graduation to prep for next year. But, he came to the decision that, no, he probably shouldn’t. He should probably just leave that in the past.

The first week in his apartment is quite unsettling. It’s weird with only himself, and not Mika to come barging into his room at an ungodly hour, or Lisa always sitting on the couch in the living room watching some type of reality TV show. It’s quite depressing for a while, actually, with boxes stacked up to the ceiling, and only Lucas’s essentials (such as a toothbrush, toothpaste, bedsheets, etc.) unpacked. 

Over the next five months boxes slowly start to get unpacked and he starts to get in the schedule of his residency and new home life. However, there’s still a vast amount of work to still be done after five months, his work at the hospital takes up a large amount of time. Leaving him just enough to eat and sleep when he gets home. Thankfully the gang and girl squad offer up a weekend helping Lucas get his apartment ready, and truthfully he couldn’t ask for better friends.

“You doing good though?” Yann asks him as they work on unpacking Lucas’s clothes.

Lucas nods, “yeah, I really am. For the first time I’m excited to where this all might take me.”

“You know…” Yann pauses as he closes the closet door and turns back towards Lucas who has taken a seat at the edge of his small bed, “I ran into Mr. Dem-Eliott in the grocery store the other day.”

“Oh, yeah?” Lucas says, immediately having to look anywhere but at Yann. He busies himself with pulling at a thread on his comforter.

“Yeah. He looked like shit,” Yann says and takes a step closer, “I know he regrets giving up on you, Lu. Do you want to know how I know?”

“Not really-”

“Because the first thing he said to me is ‘how’s Lucas.’ Someone who has moved on wouldn’t ask about the other person.”

“What’d you tell him?”

“I told him that you moved to the city because you got offered a residency in Paris. He looked so broken, Lucas, when I told him. You need to talk with him. Because, no matter how tough you act, I know that you miss him just as much as he misses you.”

“But it was just a-”

“Listen, I know I told you to break things off with Eliott, and I still stand by the decision at the time. But you’re in a more stable point in you life now. And I know you still like him. You can insist that ‘it was just a fuck buddies situation,’ but I’m your best friend. I think you underestimate how much I actually understand you. Now, I’m not going to force you to contact him, but it’s my updated opinion, as your best friend, that you both miss each other more than you would both like to admit. But, whatever you choose to do, I’ll be here for you because I love you, Lu.”

“I-I’ll think about it. Thank you, Yann.”

After the last few boxes are unpacked his friends start to trickle out one by one. Yann is the last to leave, which officially leaves Lucas once again in the silence of his apartment. Though, this time it’s more of a relief. It’s almost comforting to be in his apartment alone now that everything is unpacked. He decides to take a shower before sitting down to eat, since lifting boxes all day in the summer heat was no easy task.

While he heats up his dinner, which consists of left-over pizza from this afternoon when they ordered take out to Lucas’s apartment, he thinks back to what Yann had said. Back at the beginning Lucas had thought that he would be totally fine with a casual thing. For a while it was really good, even though he felt guilty for going behind Lucille’s back. It’s honestly his fault, he thinks, that it started going downhill. He just had to catch stupid feelings for sweet, kind, gentle, big-teddybear Eliott. Lucas had thought that leaving Eliott behind would in turn leave the rest of it in the past would be for the best. He thought that maybe he could get over his stupid emotions and move on.

But these past few weeks in his new apartment have proven just the opposite. Every waking moment when he’s not at the hospital he spends daydreaming about what could have been. He wonders what it would have been like if they had both been at a point in their life that they were ready for a relationship. He wonders if maybe they would have actually worked out. He wonders if Eliott would have helped him move in, or maybe Lucas would have moved into Eliott’s apartment. He wonders if afterwards they would go out to dinner together, in a public place, because they don’t have anything to hide. He wonders if they would hold hands walking down the sidewalk, or maybe kiss in a darkened alleyway because there would be no way Lucas could wait to kiss his boyfriend until they got back to the apartment.

The beeping of the microwave snaps Lucas out of his stupor. He grabs his meal and walks into the living room where he sits on the couch and grabs his phone. He has a ton of messages from the groupchat with the gang, and other unread texts from the groupchat with the girls. He quickly types out a reply before opening up Netflix to watch a couple episodes of a TV show.

He’s halfway through the first episode when there’s a knock at the door. Lucas groans as he sets his phone and pizza down, knowing it’s probably Basile saying he forgot something in the apartment. 

Lucas swings the door open with a huff, “no, Basile, I don’t have whatever you’re looking for.”

“Well, I appreciate the forwardness, but I’m not Basile.”

Lucas snaps his head up so fast he thinks he may have pulled something. But, honestly, he doesn’t care. Because standing there at his doorstep is a very real Eliott. Lucas doesn’t even think before lunging forward and capturing Eliott’s lips with his, both of them practically falling into the hallway. Eliott immediately kisses back, one hand falling on Lucas’s waist, the other at the back of his neck.

“Oh, god, I’ve missed you,” Eliott sighs against Lucas’s lips.

Lucas untangles them, with reluctance, and invites Eliott inside. They meander their way towards the living room where Lucas takes his previous spot on the couch, and Eliott takes the chair.

Lucas speaks first, “listen, if you’re here for another hookup after five months, as much as I miss doing...that stuff with you, I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“No, Lucas, I’m not - I wasn’t,” he sighs, “I didn’t come here to have sex.”

“Okay...why are you here?”

Eliott takes a deep breath in, “where do I even begin?”

“How did you know my address anyways?”

“That...sort of ties into why I’m here. Yann gave me your address,” Lucas opens his mouth to say something in response, but Eliott continues before Lucas has the chance, “letting you leave was the worst mistake of my life. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Truly. While our physical connection was very, very good...god, it was really good…” Eliott shakes his head to snap himself back to reality, “I realized that I missed you, your personality, your smile, your laugh, more than I missed our physical relationship. I can’t get you out of my head and it’s driving me crazy. I miss you, Lucas. Because, I love you,” Lucas’s mouth falls open, and when he doesn’t say anything for a few seconds Eliott babbles on, “you-you don’t have to say anything if you aren’t ready. I know I sprung this on you, showing up at your doorstep at practically eleven at night after months of not seeing each other. And, maybe if you are never ready to have a relationship with me, I would be absolutely fine with being your friend. Truthfully I would rather have you as a friend than not at all.”

Lucas’s brain feels like it’s fried. Is this actually happening? Eliott loves him too? For how long? “What about Lucille?”

Eliott looks at him confused, “what do you mean?”

“Is-Is she still your girlfriend?”

“Oh, god, no she’s not my girlfriend. After our first night together, at my apartment, I ended our relationship. I thought you knew that.”

Lucas isn’t able to say anything other than, “oh.”

“Um, I’m not expecting a straightforward answer from you right now, but I would like to know sooner rather than later. So, I’ll get out of your hair,” Eliott says and rises out of the chair.

“Eliott, I swear that if you don’t get over here and kiss me in the next five seconds I might combust,” Lucas says, staying stiff as a board on the edge of his seat.

Eliott laughs (Lucas missed that sound) and practically runs towards the couch, grabbing Lucas’s face and crashing their lips together. Despite the initial force of the kiss, they slow things down. They take it one kiss at a time, a stark contrast to their previous make-out sessions where they were heated and hurried with the promise of something more. But this, this is just for the sake of kissing.

“Lucas Lallemant, will you be my boyfriend?” Eliott mumbles against Lucas’s lips.

Lucas hums, “as much as I would like to immediately agree, I think we need to start things slow. Maybe just go on a few dates and see how we go together before making anything official. But, it would definitely help your case if you spend the night to cuddle with me.”

Eliott smiles, “just cuddle though, mister. I want to prove to you that I’m not asking you to be my boyfriend so I can get back into those sinfully tight pants of yours.” As if to emphasize his point Eliott’s hand travels down and gropes at Lucas’s ass.

Lucas laughs and pulls Eliott down on top of him once again.

The next few months they build a solid foundation to their relationship, focusing more on spending quality time with one another. They meet each other’s friends (when they see Yann for the first time together he gives them a wink of approval, and Lucas mouths to him a quiet ‘thank you’ because without him who knows where he and Eliott would be), Lucas takes Eliott to meet his mama, and Eliott brings Lucas on vacation with his family. They, of course, have their ups and downs. Their second month as an official couple Eliott has to change his medicine prescription, which causes fluctuations in his moods, but Lucas is beside him through it all. They’ve decided to take it all minute by minute.

Eliott quits his job at Uni, and opts for teaching small classes in the heart of Paris, which gives him time to focus on his own art as well. When Eliott starts thinking about moving closer to his studio, which is in the city, Lucas says that they should just move in together. So, they do. Now, Lucas doesn’t want to brag, but getting to wake up every morning and see his beautiful boyfriend in bed next to him is a whole different type of happiness. Lucas thinks he finally knows when it’s love.


End file.
